Adoption vs. Slavery: How language reveals beliefs

The way we use language is so important. In regular conversation it can reveal much about our attitudes and beliefs. In the Church, especially, we must be careful and intentional about how we use language. Those new to this strange faith and who may not understand “Christianese” may become confused by the mixed metaphors that people who have been in the church for many years may not even notice.

One of the issues that came to my attention a while back is how believers claim the identity of God’s adopted children but then ask to be used by God. It struck me how strange it would be for a child to approach their father and ask, “Hey Dad, could you use my services today?” My dad would probably give his odd daughter a strange look and a hug, laugh, then ask me to stay for dinner. But isn’t that exactly what we do? We seek and ask for our grand purpose in life, desperately searching for that specific mystical “thing” God put us on the earth to do. All the while we are blind or ignorant to the ways we can show God’s love to others with the gifts and talents God has already given us! We claim one belief, but through our language, proclaim that selflessness means abandoning our own identities, needs and desires for those of the divine Taskmaster. In effect, we make ourselves God’s slaves. Sound about right? But I ask: Is that who Jesus was?

It all started at Creation. God created Adam, the first human, but he kinda messed things up. So God sent someone else to show us how we should have been, and to fix the mess Adam started. It struck me that God chose to send Jesus in the role of a son, a child, a dearly loved and cared for Prince. Yes, this means he had responsibilities and specific jobs to fulfill. Praise God he fulfilled his purpose! But he did that as a son who was humble and obedient to his loving father. He was not a slave with no identity taking orders from a ruthless divine task master. We also are to be little Christs, to imitate Jesus. Our relationship to God should be Father to son & daughter, not Master to slave.

There are many harmful results of this attitude. In the local church body, if those whose professions, passions and interests don’t line up with the needs for which the church is asking, they may feel they have nothing to offer. This attitude also leaves out the love of God and how much he cares about every human being, turning God’s children into robots. The purpose of the Christian is not to be some cosmic puzzle solver, discovering illusive clues sprinkled throughout our journey through life. Our purpose is not hidden somewhere in the recesses of our lives while God sits in heaven barking out orders for us to follow. No, God the Father gave us a model to follow. It needs to become deeply rooted into our identity enough to permeate our language.

Sometimes it helps to bring it down to an earthly analogy. When my dad needs help with something, I don’t go knock on their door and say, “Father, I am here. Use me how you will.” He would laugh in my face! No, I walk in the house, without knocking, and announce that I’m there. Then I ask, “How can I help? What do you need me to do?” If it is a project that we do together, our relationship is strengthened because we have accomplished something and have spent quality time together. If it is a task I do alone, I am satisfied that I have helped relieve a burden for him, or allow him to focus his attention elsewhere in the meantime. It’s not a perfect analogy, but our relationship with God, then, also deepens the more willing we are to work with Him as obedient, loving children. Many times, the result of this type of relationship is also deeper relationships with both believers and with people who may then see Jesus through that relationship.

This is my prayer for all who read this. Think about it. Let it change how you relate to God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the mysterious Holy Spirit.

With much love,

Megan
Philippians 4:4-8

Sunday Morning

“Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.” -C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

This truth just played out in my own experiences. Friendships and fun are good things that lift the human heart. When friendships usurp the God of all things from his throne, expect discipline. In my recent experiences, mental anguish should have been a twinge of warning that my heart needed to change. I needed an attitude check. However, as is usually the case with emotional pain, my instinctual reaction was to retreat inward, causing focus on Jesus to blur and blinding me to the needs of others.

Say what you will about the Church, and the problems with organized religion, God still moves there. He certainly did today. I also firmly believe that God enjoys irony. His Spirit moved through a set list that I put together to convict me of my failures and draw my heart back to His. It makes me laugh. I was so worried about these songs being appropriate for the sermon that Sunday, and going together well, and choosing the right Scriptures. Ha! Little did I know that God was going to use each and every song and Scripture to convict me! (Please don’t take this as me bragging about my ability. Far from it. No, I am in awe and amazed every time the God of the universe takes the time to work in my life. His love for me blows me away. Any goodness found in me is a reflection of Goodness Himself.)

Here are some of the words and verses that convicted me today in the order they were presented to me in our service. I pray that it may also help you on this journey through life.

From Unchanging by Chris Tomlin

Great is Your faithfulness
You never change You never fail O God
True are your promises
You never change You never fail O God
Wide is your love and grace
You never change You never fail O God.

Psalm 23: 1-3

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.

From Forever by Chris Tomlin

Give thanks to the Lord
Our God and King
His love endures forever
For He is good He is above all things
His love endures forever
Sing praise sing praise

From the rising to the setting sun
His love endures forever
And by the grace of God
We will carry on
His love endures forever
Sing praise sing praise

Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever forever

From Enough by Chris Tomlin & Louie Giglio

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For ev’ry thirst and ev’ry need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
[ my thoughts
Your rod - the discipline I receive as a result of God's love.
Your staff - the guidance He is faithful to provide. These comfort me.]
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
O soul are you weary and troubled
No light in the darkness you see
There’s light for a look at the Savior
And life more abundant and free
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth
Will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace
Through death into life everlasting
He passed and we follow Him there
Over us sin no more hath dominion
For more than conquerors we are

His Word shall not fail you He promised
Believe Him and all will be well
Then go to a world that is dying
His perfect salvation to tell

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth
Will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

Scripture from the sermon
Deuteronomy 30: 16-20
16 For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. 17 But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. 19 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Deuteronomy 8: 2-9
2 Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. 3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. 5 Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you. 6 Observe the commands of the Lord your God, walking in obedience to him and revering him. 7 For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with brooks, streams, and deep springs gushing out into the valleys and hills; 8 a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; 9 a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills.
From Blessed Be Your Name by Beth & Matt Redman

Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in
Lord still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s all as it should be
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord blessed be Your name
From Kindness by Chris Tomlin, Jesse Reeves, Louie Giglio

Open up the skies of mercy
And rain down the cleansing flood
Healing waters rise around us
And hear our cries Lord
Let ‘em rise

And it’s Your kindness Lord
That leads us to repentance
Your favor Lord is our desire
And it’s Your beauty Lord
That makes us stand in silence
And Your love
Your love is better than life

We can feel Your mercy falling
You are turning our hearts back again
Hear our praises rise to heaven
And draw us near Lord
Meet us here

Psalm 23: 5-6
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
From The Stand by Joel Houston

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

My Prayer

My father.
My father who is
Who IS…
I AM…
I EXIST…
Always was…
Always will be…
Hallowed be Your Name
Our Father.

Our Father in Heaven
Sent the Son
Emmanuel
God with us
Sacrificed for us all
Ascended to Our Father
Sent the Spirit
Your Kingdom Come.

Your kingdom come
…is in the process of coming…
May your will be done down here
On Earth
Exactly as it is where you are
In Heaven

May Our Father’s will be done by the
Imperfect
Broken
Weak
Adopted
Healing
Children
Wanting nothing more than
To Be Loved
To Love

Give us this day
Thank you, Father, for another day.
Give us what we need
To bless others
To see passed ourselves
Because life is broken.

Forgive our debts.
The ways we have hurt others.
The pain.
The guilt.
May we forgive those who owe us
As You have forgiven us
With Grace.
By Death to self.

Lead us
Our small foot inside your larger print
One step at a time
May we follow the narrow path
Away from temptation
Marching toward home.

Stretch your arms wide before us
Spotless Lamb
May your sacrifice
Protect
Shield
Deliver
From the onslaught of the
Prowling Lion

He only wishes to destroy
You long for restoration
Promise
We will one day live again
In Heaven
With you
Our father.

Collision of Selves, Pt. 1

My stomache had been aflutter all day. In fact, once I finally got to bed late the night before, I had a difficult time calming my excited mind enough to drift off to dream land. The butterflies only flitted more frantically as I approached the small town where the concert would be held. This was not just any concert. One of my most beloved young bands was putting on a show in the high school that, for good or bad, shaped who I have become.

A left turn brought me down the same street I had traveled so many times as a teenager. I paused at the stop sign for a deep breath in, a deep breath out. The building still looked exactly the same. I was not prepared for the onslaught of emotion as I pulled into the parking lot. All those doubts, all those fears, all those glances, and snickers that said, “we are better than you,” rushed back. I had internalized all those things and in recent years had been fighting so hard to learn how to surf those waves instead of drown in them. It all came rushing back in a black torrent of bitterness, catching me without my surfboard. I fought back with four spoken words, “I hate this place.” As if they were Moses’ staff with the power to miraculously hold the past at bay.

Football players came out of the locker rooom to take the field. The click of their clets on the pavement grated at the long forgotten scars.  The players in my class managed to cause some of those scars just because of who they were, and who I was, or was not. Maybe it wasn’t their fault, or mine. The flood waters burst forth, tearing at those scars, reminding me the pain still remains.

I didn’t come here to watch football, or sit in my car. I came to support The Band. I came to take pictures. This is who I am now. Loving music then brought ridicule. Now I go to concerts, take pictures, chat with bands and network when the opportunity arises. A few more deep breaths push the emotions deep down, and I get down to business.

I morphed from banker-Megan to rocker-Megan, which involves putting on jeans and black eyeliner, then met up with my friend, L, who planned and promoted the show. As we entered the school building, I was once again shocked by how much this simple act affected me. We met a couple of L’s friends, but it was difficult for me to concentrate on the conversation. I imaginged all the faces, like ghosts, walking passed, the voices echoing in the halls.

When L took us onto the stage, my two identities collided. On this stage I had tried out for a musical as a freshman, young, insecure, inexperienced. I got the part of curtain puller. Utterly rejected, I sat behind the curtain watching all the more attractive and talented students get dolled up and perform. On this stage I performed countless band, choir, and show choir performances. Though I appeared to be one of the group on stage, when the performance ended, so did my inclusion in the group. I always felt like an outsider, searching for a place to fit doing something I loved with people who noticed me.

So maybe you can imagine my reaction when we entered this same stage so many years later. This band consisting of young men I love like brothers is setting up for a show tonight. I stand in almost the same spot, next to that same stupid curtain I pulled when I was about 15, watching them set up their gear. One by one as they notice me they greet me by name with a hug and thank me for coming. Hold on, time out for tears.

After The Band finished set up and sound check, it was dinner time. I was quiet, which I didn’t understand then. In general, I’m not a very good conversationalist. I’m an excellent listener and can keep a conversation going, if someone else starts it. In this situation, I was tired, surrounded by a larger group of people I didn’t know that well, and experiencing a lot of emotion without quite realizing it. The classroom represented difficult memories I had been trying to overcome for a long time, The Band represented the person/identity I am trying to become. It was too much to handle emotionally. Add trying to create a conversation. Yeah, that’s too much social pressure. So I just ate quietly. I’m good at quiet.

It wasn’t until I went searching for my old self that I consciously realized what was going on inside my head and heart. I knew my senior class photo was hanging somewhere in the hallways. So I went searching. Why you ask? Good question. Curiosity mostly. When I got confused by L’s directions, I yelled down the hallway for clarification! Current Me doesn’t do things like that! How obnoxious, ugh! That’s something High School Me would do! Well, I did it. I also yelled some other obnoxious, mean-spirited things about the school. What’s the Bible say about guarding your tongue? Because I think I just reverted back to about 16! Guess that’s what happens when I repress feelings, but honestly, who was going to sit down that night and have a counseling session with me about my issues from high school? Then wasn’t the time. I didn’t even grasp what was going on.

When I found the Senior Class Composite for the Class of 2001 (yeah, now you know how old I am) I just stood there staring at my 18-year-old self with a strange mixture of amusement and hatred. I didn’t even look at anyone else like I had planned. I was going to pour out hatred on the images of those who had caused me pain or embarrassement. The only image I could focus on was my own, which I could only stand to look at for maybe 60 seconds. Turning the corner to return to the Auditorium, I got my first inkling that being back was affecting my emotions and behavior. When the lead singer of The Band, who was setting up merch, asked if I had “found myself” I just quickly answered, “yep.” He had now idea how profound his question was at that moment.

The rest of the night went well. I took photos at the concert. About half-way through The Band’s set, I got a migraine. I could have been emotional stress. It could have been lack of sleep. It could have been other things. I kept shooting.

When I got to my car to leave, after saying good-byes and sending The Band off, I really felt something was up. Usually after a show, I leave a little sad because it’s over, I had a good time, and I have to go home. That’s normal. But I’m also charged and excited, going over the fun and exciting moments in my mind on the drive home. Tonight was different. At first I thought it was because I was so tired. It was a shorter drive home than usual, but I realized that I felt so different because my past and my present had collided.

So now, what do I do with this? (part 2, coming soon)

Have you ever had a similar experience?

How did it affect you?

Spinning Plates

I am sucked dry in a 40 hour desert then pouring anything that is left into building a business out of my passions with no monetary return. Seeking purpose I scrape the rest of the hours from my weeks and offer them up to my spiritual family with hopes and prayers of rewards in the form of souls bent toward Heaven. All the while the mess and chaos in the brick and mortar of my own house remains neglected and the One I claim to follow sits…waiting…under all my clutter and mess. Waiting for me to stop running. He longs for me to be still and listen to his teachings. This I know, not that He would force me to do it, because that’s not what He’s about. But I fear if I stop, that all these plates I’m spinning will fall in a jagged, splintered mess at the foot of my Savior. But not just the plates. Me too. That’s what he wants I guess.

So I sing this song from the deep, dark, confused, tired, pain-filled, corners of my soul.
And He understands because He was there once too, in The Garden.


Be Blessed,
Megan

Women & The Good Samaritan Question

Driving home today I saw a shabby older man walking along the road. He had a walking stick, and if memory serves me well, a bag or two. To give a little more context this was a major high way and his location was miles from the nearest town. As a youngish female disciple of Christ, in a vehicle…alone…I am faced with a dilemma. Self-preservation instincts tell me to pass by on the other side. Immediately echos from every sermon on the Parable of the Good Samaritan are bouncing around in my head, a curse of growing up in the church I suppose, youth group kid guilt, if you will. The rest of the way home I was wrestling with the question of to stop or not to stop. Hold on, cause here was my basic thought process…

Man that guy looked rough. I wonder if he’s dangerous. But he’s an old man. My dad’s getting up there, I wouldn’t wrestle my dad. I bet Dad could still win in a wrestling match with me. I just passed by on the other side, like the guys in the Good Samaritan story. But hold on, the Samaritan man was beat up and dying. This guy is just walking along the road. Maybe he wants to walk. Besides, I might stop if I had my 9mm with me. That way, if he tried anything, I could at least defend myself. But I do have a weapon with me, God’s Spirit is always with me. How much  more powerful is the Spirit than a gun? Would He protect me? My husband would probably shoot me himself if I let some some strange older guy get in the car with me.

That was the basic discussion I had with myself on the way home. I just wonder what you think Christians should do when faced with this issue. I don’t encounter it much. In this situation, the guy wasn’t even asking to be picked up, he was just walking along. But what if he was?

Women: Should we trust God enough to abandon common sense and risk our own safety to help someone out?
Men: What would you expect your mother, daughter, wife, friend to do in this situation?

How did you get in my dream?

It usually starts with the desire for inspiration. A band I follow posts a picture from a show or a photo shoot. I look at the photo. If it’s one that I like, I research the photographer a bit. Who do they work for? Who are they? What does some of their other work look like? During this entire research escapade, the dominating thought in the back of my mind is not, I am ashamed to say, only to appreciate the quality of someone else’s art. Oh no, I am constantly evaluating their talent in comparison to my own because they are living my dream. Sometimes, after I have looked at their photography of other bands, I think, “I could do that,” or even worse, “I could have done better than that.” Proud much? Well…yeah. However, which is most often the case, I decide the work is far superior than mine, I feel defeated, jealous, and baffled as to how that person got that position. Is it who they know? Did they take classes? Do they have some personality trait that God left out when he formed me? Then why, oh God, why do I want this so badly that my soul writhes in agony?

Ok, maybe that was a little overdramatic. But, that’s what self-reflection can do to you, can it not? This morning in the shower, I was thinking about God’s will verses my will. It occurred to me that there is a lot of pride involved with placing my will, my wants, my dreams equal with God’s plan for the entire universe. Even that sentence sounds ridiculous. Perhaps more accurately…It was revealed to me that contrary to all the advice self-help quacks will squawk at you, it doesn’t matter how much you set your mind to achieving your dream. At the end of all things, you will just run yourself ragged trying to stubbornly get to where God does not want you to go. It’s like constantly running yourself into a plexiglass wall. You can keep doing it, but you’re going to get beat up in the process.

I am reminded of the story in Numbers 22. Balaam is riding his donkey when all of a sudden she won’t go. God put an angel in the path that would have killed Balaam had his donkey kept walking. The donkey could see the angel, but Balaam couldn’t so he beat the poor animal. Finally God granted the donkey the ability to speak so she could explain the situation to a misguided prophet. Ouch! Balaam realized his mistake and repented. It may not happen quite so miraculously, but God puts obstacles in our way, ones that we don’t always recognize, to stop us from attaining a dream or a goal. I have been struggling with this for a long time. Why would God give me a dream if he didn’t want me to chase after it?

The answer is simple. Well, it’s simple to write, not so simple to hear, even more difficult to correct. God will put obstacles in the way of your dreams if they become your god. I think we can all agree that dreams are good things that come from God. However, they can easily become idols. A few weeks ago I heard this in a sermon, “Idols are good things that become god things and become bad things to us.” May be why God would keep you from your dream. I fell in love with my dream and I use God like a genie. I make wishes and try to fool God and myself. Here’s the genie prayer, “Ok God, I’m giving you this thing I’m in love with. I really want it. But I want you to have it. I want to trust you with it. Here you go.” Sounds good right? Except in the back of my mind and the depths of my heart I was like a kid with my fingers crossed behind my back thinking, “I hope you give that back. I don’t really want you to have it. I think you’re going to break it. I’m really not sure I can trust you.” First, how many theological issues can you find? What does that reveal about the lies I tell myself? Let’s all be honest, God is omnipotent. Omnipotent means all knowing. Who do I think I am, tricking God? Seriously? If I let go of my dreams, it can’t be a trick. It has to be true, honest surrender.

Sounds good. How do you do that? A lot of people would say, “Love God more than your dreams.” But that’s more like a nice quip. You can’t make yourself love someone. Go ahead. Try. It’s empty and you end up going through the motions, pretending. Surrender is about a true, honest relationship. To get there, you have to have the right priorities. From that same sermon, “Give weight to God and all other things will float up.” The relentless pursuit of dreams without God will leave us bitter, tired, beaten down, and broken. By giving God the weight he deserves the unimportant distractions will float away. Then God’s Spirit can be a guide in what to do with your idols/dreams (you fill in the blank). Otherwise you’re running around, trying to balance everything, or beating yourself up on an invisible plexiglass wall. If that Idol floats away, you are still left with the One Thing that has weight, gives true joy, and has everlasting meaning. Find joy and astonishment that the Creator of a universe, larger than any man-made vehicle can travel, is willing to include any one of us, a speck in that universe. Joy springs from every fiber of my being that I am included in the story at all! When I tend to think I can write it better, or get confused about my part, I know I’m not as close to God as I need to be.

What is a dream God has put in you? Has it become an idol?